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. So why pretend? And-I-forgot-the-rest-of-the-words," I sang. "--And so, the Thu--rill is Gone!" That was really awful," Bailey said. "OK -- so where is The Girl?" She's at my house," I said, "cooking dinner."I really hoped that wasn't a lie.We racked up the Devil Rays -- again -- and were three games ahead of the Yankees, now, in first place, on the last day of July. My baseball life was feelin' groovy. Now, if only I could get my personal life lined up just half as well.Since meeting Patti, I'd been focused entirely on her. She had been my only sex life -- or, more accurately, I currently had no sex life, unless and until Patti decided to let her defenses down.I mean, a first-rate blowjob is a wonderful thing, but it can only take a relationship so far!Well, as it turned out, I hadn't been lying to Sam Bailey. Patti was in the kitchen when I got home, with baked potatoes in the microwave and Angus beef steaks on the George Foreman Grill.When I saw her, I knew that some kind of. .. the house, cars, phones, entertainment ... I was going to get rid of everything. I was planning on downsizing in a major way," I answered."My wife would kill me if I suggested doing that."My wife had been furious when I had laid out my plan to her. Everything that I said we needed to cut, she said was a necessity. Everyone absolutely had to have a cell phone because in the modern world a cell phone was a necessity. Life without cable television wouldn't be worth living. She didn't like the idea of having to drive a compact car when the lease on her SUV expired. She refused to sell the house because the children needed the educational benefits provided by the schools in our neighborhood.My wife wasn't too thrilled about my suggestion that we sell off our son's car. She felt that he would be severely damaged emotionally if he had to ride his old bicycle to high school when all of his friends were driving cars. I didn't care about her feelings in the matter or my son's embarrassment..
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